Overflowing in Family Life

1 Corinthians 12

The story goes like this: "my husband and I had been married about eight months when it came time to plant a garden. We purchased the seeds and all went well as each of us liked the same vegetables. We then began the process of preparing the soil and again everything went smoothly. We opened the first row, planted the seed, covered the row and we stood smiling with our accomplishment. When then began that second row and that is when it happened...I knew that our rows needed to be precisely 18 inches apart and so begin laying the row based upon that. My husband was in disbelief and suddenly stopped me. 'You are way to close' he said, 'the row must be 36 inches from the first row'. I responded 'my mother always planted 18" apart and 36" is wasting too much soil. How can I get him to see that I am "right" and do it my way? The debate began...'We cannot waste space it has to be 18", he quickly replied...'you must have 36" to have space in between to walk and keep the soil cultivated and weeds removed. So who was right? As we continued conversation we quickly realized I grew up with a small patch of garden and space was a premium, he grew up on a farm and a tractor was used to till to garden and wide rows were necessary for it's path. Could it be that both of us were right?"

The above story happens daily in our homes, differing manifestations but same issue. The problem is that many do not turn out as the above story ends. They took the time and energy to learn the purpose of each other's perspective. Many times we focus on "How do I convince my spouse that my way or opinion is the right way". We spend way too much energy on convincing our spouse that we are right instead of time needed undertanding our spouse's perspective and viewpoint. It is obvious that we are different and therefore have differing views. 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12 both tell us that God has created those differnces so that we might best operate in completion as a body and that the body is to operate in unity/oneness.

The consequences of "being right" and "winning the discussion" are devasting to marriages as it shreads and tears down the oneness in marriages and families. When one spouse is "right" or "wins", that means the other spouse is "wrong" and "loses" and when one spouse "loses" then the marriage itself will always "lose". The marriage never becomes one or unified when the couple strives for an "either/or winner". Marriages win and become one when two differing individuals strive for oneness in the marriage over winning for theirself. There really is more than one way to do things and there are many views on particular issues but we are called to have one spirit, one heart and one mind.

Take the time today to read 1 Corinthians 12:12-27. We are spending way too much time and energy discussing the appropiate spacing for planting beans that the beans are not getting planted. I'll take "oneness" over "rightness" anyday when it comes to personal perspective. More importantly oneness creates initimacy in the body, "rightness" creates division.

Finally, Peter writes....all of you live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble". What a high calling? Strive today for oneness in your marriage and with those around you. It brings Glory to God, unity in your home and peace to your soul.

Blessed,
Marty