Overflowing in Family Life

1 John 4:7-11 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

“I do not believe he loves me anymore” she stated with tears in her eyes. “I feel empty and alone” she added. As I glanced over at the husband, he sat there in disbelief. He could not comprehend what she was saying. After all he thought he was “doing” everything possible to love her. After 9 hours on the job he came home and worked 2 – 3 more hours helping with the children, often washing clothes and when needed straightening up the house. He was loving her by “acts of service.” She needed to “be told” that she was valued, that she was loved and was appreciated.

I have encountered this couple many times…different names of course, but same circumstances. Each one loving each other in their own way, yet the other spouse not “feeling” loved. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages” states every person “gives and receives love in their own language.” He specifically refers to these languages as: “Acts of Service” – giving love through performing acts of kindness and service for the other person; “Words of Affirmation” – giving and sharing love verbally with encouragement, appreciation and positive communication; “Quality Time” – expressing love through focused and intentional time together, however even this language has a “male dialect” (quiet quality time) and a “female dialect” (‘lets talk’ quality time); “Physical Touch” – expressing love through a hug, held hand, a back rub, etc. communicates a powerful message; “Gifts” – the universal message of giving a gift speaks volumes of thoughtfulness and value to many.

Families who understand this one simple truth of differing love languages opens the door of understanding and insight in celebrating differences as opposed to being frustrated by them. Dr. Chapman also brings understanding to loving your child and teenager through age specific books: “Five Love Languages of Children” and “Five Love Languages of Teenagers”.

Love is such a beautiful word…yet it seems so complicated to understand and speak. Take time to speak love to your family today in a way that they understand. “For God so loved the world that He gave”…..may your love begin with “giving”.


Grateful,

Marty